Blue Mage
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Tyrinia Drago
Solomon
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Sawagejo Miatan
Mr. Teiresias
Sara[M:149166]
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Joined: Jan 2007
Gender: Male 
Posts: 3,176
Location: Newark, DE
Karma: 5 |  | Items on Sale for Conquering Heroes to Buy
« Thread Started on Sept 12, 2008, 7:37pm » | |
Welcome, welcome to my wonderful store of incredible things kiddies! This is your one stop shop for buying great items to keep you alive! The items here will greatly improve your odds of beating my trials! Like that Third Key in the back? Well, I’m afraid you’re gonna hafta win some exhibition battles in my Ring for the right to earn that thing. But, if you’re a new customer, no problem, you can still trade your money for some great items!
Front of the Store
These are the magical items that you can buy even without one single exhibition win! They’re cheap, and effective, so stop window shopping, and start buying!
Potion of Rage - $100: this is the ticket for some much needed strength in a volatile situation! Drink this, and you’ll fly into a berserker rage, filling your muscles with power, at the expense of a little common sense. Great thing is, even though you should tire yourself out after a rage, you won’t, because the magic also restores your fatigue when it wears off. Pretty nifty, eh?
Potion of Invisiblility - $100: ever wanted to be completely invisible for something like ten minutes? Well, this is just what you want! Be warned, if you ever try to attack something, the magic’ll end, and you’ll be exposed!
Potion of Healing - $200: drink this whole potion, and all your fresh wounds will be completely healed! Note that it won’t relieve your fatigue.
Phoenix Bat Guano - $500: it may look disgusting, but it’s pretty neat shit. Literally. Hold it under something’s nose, and it wakes up immediately; even from the deepest coma. If your friend ever get’s KO’ed, this’ll knock the knock right out of ‘em!
Under the Counter
Now we’re talkin’! You’ve won your way through two exhibition fights, so now I’ll let you in the loop to buy some really good stuff that makes everything else on the previous list look like the most expensive thing on it!
Ring of Back of Head Eyes - $1,000: are you a paranoid freak that always thinks the world is out to backstab ya? Well, this nifty ring alerts you whenever something wants to back attack you, letting you react before your back gets stabbed. It works ten times, and it breaks, but it’s still pretty good.
Ring of Protection - $2,000: slip this thing on your finger, and an invisible field of force surrounds your body. It goes a long way when the chips are down.
Fire Materia - $2,250: can’t cast magic but want to? Well, this green orb can merge with your body, and once inside you, it gives you the ability to shoot fireballs from your hands. It takes stamina for prolonged casting, but I’m sure you’ve got what it takes you ol’ winner you.
Blizzard Materia - $2,250: can’t cast magic but want to? Well, this green orb can merge with your body, and once inside you, it gives you the ability to drop blocks of ice on people’s heads. It takes stamina for prolonged casting, but if you can’t do it by now, maybe you should consider another purchase.
Thunder Materia - $2,250: can’t cast magic but want to? Well, this green orb can merge with your body, and once inside you, it gives you the ability to shoot lightning from your fingertips. It takes stamina for prolonged casting, but I’m willing to bet a buck you can do it!
Tome of Physical Toughness - $2,500: this thick tome takes quite some time to read; for an average reader, it would take one week. It is full of great exercises and tips for losing fat, and increasing vitality. It also provides a sure fire cure for lost sexual drive, but that’s somewhere near the back. What’s written doesn’t really matter though, because once each word has been read, the magic of the book imbues in the reader, and increases all of the reader’s physical skills marginally.
Tome of Mystical Strength - $2,500: this thick tome takes quite some time to read; for an average reader, it would take one week. It is full of great tips for meditating and channelling magical power. It also teaches some great karma sutra positions, but that’s somewhere near the back. What’s written doesn’t really matter though, because once each word has been read, the magic of the book imbues in the reader, and increases all of the reader’s magical skills marginally.
Truly Secret Stuff
Congrats, you’ve won five exhibition matches! As your reward you may trade the money I gave you for entertaining the crowds by buying this stuff! Trust me, unlike the other stuff you’ve been buying, this stuff is actually quality stuff!
Leonardo’s Bear - $3,000: this cute little stuffed toy protects you from more than just nightmares, it’ll also make you deathproof. Okay, so it only prevents cases of supernatural instant death, but that’s still quite nifty. I hear Graviard’s sword causes instant death, so this would be nice for that.
Fira Materia - $4,500: do you want to continue your study of magic? Good endeavour! This materia contains the second level Fire spell: it shoots two fireballs with the power to level a wall!
Blizzara Materia - $4,500: do you want to continue your study of magic? Good endeavour! This materia contains the second level Blizzard spell: it’ll drop a huge block of ice on your opponent, and the icy winds will slow ‘em down so it’ll be easier to hit ‘im!
Thundara Materia - $4,500: do you want to continue your study of magic? Good endeavour! This materia contains the second level Thunder spell: the electricity that’ll fly off your fingers will singe the flesh off the bone!
Sensu Bean - $5,000: pricy yes, but it’s worth every penny when you take into account that it heals all your wounds and even temporarily empowers you!
Different Dimension Dynamite - $5,000: light this dynamite, throw it, and take cover! The blast radius is one foot over fourteen feet, and it sucks everything that it hits to another dimension. Which one? Do you care?
Odin Materia - $8,000: this red materia allows you to summon the mighty warrior know as Odin. His Zantetsuken cuts down any enemy in its path, that is, if it doesn’t miss. Before you can summon Odin, however, you must prove your worth to him. If you summon him, he won’t answer your call for seven days.
Phoenix Down - $8,000: a phoenix feather, a truly rare thing that can revive you once and restore your health. Just place it on your forehead for two minutes, and it’ll go into effect. It won’t wear off unless it revives. Pretty nifty for those harder trials, I must say!
My Secret Stash
This is the secret store, accessible only to those who have won ten exhibition fights. If you’ve made it this far, why not try the trials? It’s the only thing left to do, really.
Firaga Materia - $9,000: this is pretty close to the apex of elemental magic, and is the easiest to cast. Sure, if ya want the best, all you need to do is skim down a bit, but if you’re stingy, this is where it’s at! Firaga shoots three balls of fire so big it’ll swallow a man up whole, and leave nothing but a charred skeleton behind!
Blizzaga Materia - $9,000: this is pretty close to the apex of elemental magic, and is the easiest to cast. Sure, if ya want the best, all you need to do is skim down a bit, but if you’re stingy, this is where it’s at! Blizzaga freezes the ground in a circle whose radius is five feet, locking the target or targets in place for a meteoric iceberg to crush them to powder!
Thundaga Materia - $9,000: this is pretty close to the apex of elemental magic, and is the easiest to cast. Sure, if ya want the best, all you need to do is skim down a bit, but if you’re stingy, this is where it’s at! Thundaga is a literal storm flung from your hand to whatever poor sap you wanna turn to goo!
Third Key - $10,000: use this to unlock your hidden potential. It allows you to take three actions instead of one in the same time it takes you to make one. This truly is the key to success.
Kakugane - $10,000: now this is one technological marvel! It’s as close to magic as science is gonna get! This thing can amplify your own natural healing abilities, healing you after a battle rather quickly at the cost of a few seconds off your life expectancy. More than that though, it’ll give you your own personalized weapon called a Buso Renkin. I can’t think of any reason not to have one! So I’ve got one question for you: do you want it in a bag, or will you wear it home?
Replica Lightsaber - $10,000: this is the weapon of a Jedi Knight, and has the power to chop through anything. This is just a replica though, as the art of saber making is known only to Jedis. It’ll last for a grand daddy total of three hours, and then it’ll go out.
Triple Fire Materia - $18,000: okay big spender, you want the best elemental magic then here ya go! Triple Fire may look unimpressive, firing three small fireballs; it more than makes up for it with its blazing speed and power that can bring bridges down! Kaboom!
Electrocute Materia - $18,000: okay big spender, you want the best elemental magic then here ya go! Electrocute does exactly what it says it does, electrocute everything in around you in a ten foot radius! Bzzzt!
Freeze - $18,000: okay big spender, you want the best elemental magic then here ya go! Freeze is the best spell to do no damage; instead of damaging, it deep freezes the opponent instantly, effectively killing the poor jerk! Brrr!
Chainsaw Launcher - $90,000: This just came in, and I thought it would be the perfect thing for you gun nuts out there. Merry Christmas yahoos! This bad boy will launch the most devastating short range weapon ever invented: the Chainsaw! All of the unbridled killing power of a Chainsaw forcefully thrust at the poor jerk you aim it at! Effective even at two football fields! Of course the thing is useless without Leatherface’s favourite…well, not just any Chainsaw will do; you’ll need special Rocket Propelled Chainsaws (RPCs) to fire from this big ‘ol boomstick. $9,000 for one RPC, but it’s worth it for a weapon that chews through iron like a bulldog through a paper bag!
Costly Punch Materia - $100,000: this is the grand daddy of all materia, the great yellow hope, the ultimate attack. C'mon baby! Fuse this materia with your body, and you’ll know what I mean. Throw the Costly Punch, and at the expense of 1/128th of your life force, you can throw a punch that always deals the maximum amount of damage. You only get one a day, but it’s enough.
Solomon’s Rich Boys and Girls Club
Wow, you have a lot of money! Want me to take some of it off your hands? It’ll save your poor old back from carrying it around all day! Don’t worry about fighting; being able to carry so many Buckaroos at once is all the qualification you need to buy these truly epic items!
Pumice - $50,000: hey, hey, hey! You can’t just buy this. Oh sorry, you already have two Pumice Pieces? I’m sorry. Give ‘em here, and I’ll fuse ‘em into one for you. Not only will Holy and Darkness damage heal you, but you will also be able to summon the Dark Aeon Anima!
Pumice Piece - $100,000: this rare item comes attached to a platinum chain so you can wear it as the gaudiest accessory you’ll ever buy. Not only does it prove how rich you are, but it also makes you absorb Holy and Shadow damage, so it’ll energize you instead of killing you in the most horrid fashion imaginable. Not only that, but when you summon an Aeon, it will be able to unleash its Overdrive instantly without having to charge it in battle.
Moolah Guard - $150,000: this is the ultimate accessory for you people who value your lives over your money! Slip this big ‘ol diamond ring on your finger, and you can either take the damage or pay 10,000 Buckaroos to completely nullify the attack. As an extra added bonus, you won’t have to worry about any curses or afflictions of any kind!
Doomsday Materia - $200,000: you can’t cast magic, but wanna show up those cocky wizards? Well, I’ve crystallized this, the greatest spell ever, into materia for you. This’ll drop a meteor of apocalyptic magnitude upon the entire battlefield, dealing heavy darkness damage to all. Look up on the list, look at this materia, and then drool. Don’t worry, I’ve installed garbage bags around you, so you won’t ruin my lovely floor.
BFG9000 - $900,000: you ever wanted to commit mass genocide? Well, I’m not gonna judge, not if you’re gonna shell out the Buckaroos for this beautiful piece of future tech. One pull of the trigger, and everything in front of you is dead. D-E-A-D, dead. Oh, but before we get ahead of ourselves, that’s just the price for the gun. If you actually want to exercise your Second Amendment right with this bad boy, you’re gonna need its ammo: $90,000 for a single shot. Hey, this is the world’s most powerful gun, of course it’s gonna be expensive! You can handle it though, you’re rich!
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The Champion, Vice-Admiral Sara |
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